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In 2018 I started a new way of living, and I’m happy to say I’m still in line with that practice today. In late 2017 I decided things were not working for me, and something had to change. I spent countless hours on my knees praying, thanksgiving, supplication, and asking the Lord for forgiveness. For the first time in a very long time, I was still and just waited for the Lord to guide my next moves. (One of which was this very website!)
I began to live with intention and purpose. I had depleted all of my own energy and had to draw strength from the Lord for everyday living. And because I was leaning on Him for strength, I had to use it wisely. It was borrowed, precious, and straight from the source, so I could not waste a single drop. I learned that God provides enough grace for living this life well. He provides us the strength and energy to conduct His works and mission, not all the extras we throw in ourselves.
So why was I all out of gas? Because I had used it doing things he did not intend for me to do. Nothing was wrong with what I did; they weren’t bad things; they just weren’t what I was supposed to do. I was running three PTA’s, attended every school board meeting, worked in a handful of ministries at church, worked full time, volunteered for various organizations every week, and even held committee seats in over thirteen organizations and in my spare time (yes spare time), I tried to throw in time and trips with my family. How horrible is that? I feel embarrassed actually letting you know that my family was my spar time event. This was my life rhythm from 2003- 2017.
Can you spot what’s wrong with that picture? I couldn’t. Not until I fell apart. My energy was depleted, and I was left trying to piece together the madness and juggle the plates even while they were clearly broken all over the floor. He allowed me to break so He could build me up again from the ground up. I began to realize my worth, and for the first time in my life, I realized the difference between self-care and taking care of yourself (but that’s a different blog post).
Back to my borrowed strength. Have you ever borrowed something from someone? You tend to take care of it better than your own belongings. You guard it, keep it clean, and don’t lend it to anyone else because it’s been temporarily entrusted into your care, and you want to return it just as good, if not better, than you received it. That’s how I was with His borrowed strength. I’d carelessly used up what he gave and knew I was pulling from His reserve. This was no laughing matter.
Target was my happy place, and when I stepped inside that store, I found that I needed so many things in my life because they were pretty, shiny, or simply on sale. I would pack the cart without batting an eyelash and walk out feeling renewed with wonderful bliss.
In 2018, I stopped mindless shopping and started paying attention to what I was buying. I wanted to be a good steward of the strength and resources I was drawing from His endless well. From clothing to home decor, I would ask myself questions before purchasing every item.
6 questions to ask yourself before you drop in the shopping cart.
- Do I need it? It’s important to distinguish between wants and needs. This keeps us level-headed about the purchase and money we spend. There is nothing wrong with buying what you want, but you definitely don’t want to go without a need.
- Do I want this? My eyes have seen many shiny things. The difference is I can see with clarity. If it’s something you want, there’s no shame in that. Be patient in the purchase and do your research. Check out Consumer Reports to be sure you’re getting your bang for your buck. You don’t want to buy the $300.00 vacuum cleaner with all the bells and whistles only to learn that consumers say it broke down in two months. Scout the sales ads, and don’t be afraid to use coupons or ask about price matching for the best deals. Plan ahead for surprisingly low prices for Black Friday deals or Amazon Prime Day. Wanting to buy services or products? Check out the Better Business Bureau for their customer service ratings. You don’t want to pay for an online course only to learn the company isn’t reliable.
- Do I have a spot for this item, or do I need to give something away to make room for it? You don’t want to waste money by letting the items sit in bags or closets waiting because you can’t find time to put them up. I used to do this and forget all about them, sometimes resulting in buying duplicate items or crowding shelves making everything look messy.
- What is it going to take to keep this item? Consider the time needed to invest in the purchase and the aftercare. Are you willing to put in the time for the upkeep? This could be dusting, watering, polishing, oil changes, fuel, or whatever is needed to maintain the item.
- What is the financial obligation? Consider whether you want to give your hard-earned money in exchange for this item. What is the long-term cost of the upkeep? I like to figure out how many hours I have to work so that I can buy the item.
- If the purchase is for a project, ask yourself if you have the finances to get everything you need right now. Have you intentionally scheduled the time to start this project within the week and finish it within the month?
If you answer no to any of these questions, put the item back on the shelf and wait to buy it until you can answer yes. If you answer yes to the questions, intentionally hold the item in your hand, inspect it for flaws, and place it carefully in the basket. If it’s online shopping, read the reviews, double-check the description, measurements, and specifications, and put it in your cart. Before you make the final purchase or put it on the conveyor belt, think about how it makes you feel. Does it bring joy? Peace? Is it something you want to see every day? If yes, then consider it an investment and make the purchase.
I learned that if I said no to the item, I was also saying yes to extra time and energy. I also learned that my wallet thanked me, and I had the money for other things that truly made a difference, like Sunday Ice Cream after church. This ceremony is much better than another throw pillow. It houses laughter, allows for family bonding, and is filled with flavors that make our tastebuds dance.
To try to keep my home clutter-free, I do things differently now. Instead of buying books, I now look for books I can borrow from friends since our library burned last year. I utilize Amazon Kindle and even Audible. I use my computer to bookmark my interest rather than hoard printouts of recipes and articles.
Would you believe me if I told you I have probably purchased less than ten things for my house since 2018? Not counting cleaning supplies, food, and sundries, of course, but just extras. In fact, I gave away 112 large trash bags of clothes, 14 big boxes of books, eight boxes of toys, and over 312 pairs of shoes. Believe it or not, it’s true, and I’m still cleaning, reducing, and giving. Things look more orderly and less cluttered, and coming into a home with less feels so good.
Living intentionally means different things to different people, and this is just one part of my intentional living practice, and I will share more in time. I still sometimes struggle with preserving and using my strength wisely, but I am nowhere near being as drained as I was. I am a work in progress, and I thank the Lord for His grace, mercy, and strength daily.
Simplifying the clutter and living intentionally has been a huge task, but I feel better about it and the progress I’m making every day. It has brought me so much peace, and I feel more empowered with every choice I make. I encourage you to consider those questions as you shop this week, next week, and every day. Take time to pray, and evaluate your use of the energy God gave you. I pray that you have a blessed joy-filled week.
What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear them!