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There was once a time when we believed we could do anything. Before the world said we couldn’t, long before someone said probably not and way before we became aware of obstacles, there was something we wanted to be when we grew up.
There were no limits because ignorance was bliss. Nothing was off the table. When asked what we wanted to be, we answered with a dinosaur, princess, Wonder Woman, and Superman. There was an innocence filled with hope and wonder in what we spoke aloud. A world filled with possibilities before someone said we couldn’t.
The first time we heard the word “can’t,” it crushed our spirit. Just enough that nobody noticed except for us. We couldn’t pinpoint what changed, but we felt a small piece of us whisp away in their words, leaving us a little empty and disappointed.
Self-esteem is so important. It’s the thing we struggle to impart in our children while still trying to teach them reasoning. Often in the process of training them, we end up leaving our children with low self-esteem. As an adult in part of a village, it is our responsibility to help our children feel competent and carry themselves confidently through life.
Keeping in mind that children are sensitive, and have a peer group that can be quite harsh, helps realize that what we do as a part of their village matters. We need to speak life into them, so when they are facing with people whispering doubt, they can stand on God’s promises and the words of their village to keep them standing tall.
Here are a few strategies to practice that will help your child feel good about himself:
Teach them who they are in Christ. The Bible is full of scripture that unveils God’s promises in our lives. He tells us who we are and what we are not. He explains how wonderfully made we are and uniquely designed by His hand alone. Teach your children scripture and proclaim it over their lives every day. Pray for them and over them, pray for their friends, and over their belongings. When people know who they are in Christ, we know who we belong to with confidence, and when Christ lives in us, we will shine so bright in every way.
Love unconditionally. Every human should feel this in their lifetime. You want your child to know and believe that they are loved unconditionally. They need to know that no matter how many mistakes are made, they are loved by the people who matter most. Having this as a foundation will enable your child to step out in faith and do great things, learn new crafts, and go on grand adventures. When children know and believe that love is not conditional upon behavior achievements, it does wonders for their self-esteem.
Assist your child with goal setting. A terrific self-esteem builder is to help your children achieve success with goal setting. Working with your child to set appropriate and achievable goals is a beautiful way to start. Be sure to start with setting a goal that is simple to accomplish, and they will be sure to complete successfully. This will be sure to give them a huge confidence boost, and hearing you cheer them on along the way will reinforce your belief in their skills and ability.
Encourage persistence. If at first, you don’t succeed, try again, using a different tactic. Success and persistence go hand-in-hand. Please encourage your children to finish what they start. If you find them struggling, show them new ways to tackle the problems. Perseverance shows them success may not come after the first try or in the original form we thought it would, but it comes nevertheless. Acknowledge your child and let them know you saw them struggle, persist, and conquer.
Give your child choices. Doing this allows them to practice decision-making skills and to be confident in their decisions. If they have everything chosen for them, they will most likely be more apprehensive when deciding on their own. By doing this, they can also experience a feeling of control. Options can help your children balance control in daily life, not leaving them power-hungry or power deprived. Decision making is a critical skill.
Discourage perfection. Perfection is not a game anyone can win. Nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to let your child know that they aren’t either, and it’s okay. Let them know you value their effort and their progress, and as long as they tried their best, that’s all we ask of them. Your best attempt is the only thing you can ask of yourself or anyone around you.
Avoid over-praising. Children know when your praise is excessive. Give praise where praise is due. Also, praise your child for making a reasonable effort. Lavish praise can harm a child’s confidence; they may begin to think that you aren’t praising anything they do earnestly.
Allow your child to overhear you complimenting them. Hearing you share their accomplishments with others gives your child a significant boost in their self-esteem. Your children are always watching you. Use that to your advantage.
Take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself, and you show your child that you are valuable. They will believe that they are important and should take care of themselves too. Be sure to include the value of their time and talents, which are equally important.
We want the best for our children, and part of that is building up their self-esteem.
The way we live at home shapes our children and impact their future in more ways than we can imagine. Teaching your children self-care, self-love, and self-confidence will set them up for a life filled with peace, love, and adventure.
What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear them!