Choosing My YES

Saying YES to one thing, means you’re saying NO to something else.

When I say YES to a work trip, I’m saying NO to putting my kids to bed.

When I say YES to a new project, I’m saying NO to other focuses.

When I say YES to waking up late, I’m saying NO to my morning “me” time.

It seems extreme, maybe, but if you put it into that sort of comparison, it just might help make deciding a little easier.

2017 taught me how to choose my YES and started a new practice of saying no, and believe me; it does take practice. I have always been a dependable go-getter, always willing to stay late and show up early. I took things home to work on during downtime and traveled with projects in tow. I was the go-to person. I had created this reputation and label that I now wore proudly. It was my shiny star as an Achiever as described in Strengths Finder 2.0. I could get the job done and get it done well.

In the Spring of 2017, one of my very dear friends introduced me to a book that changed my thinking for the better. Present Over Perfect is a game-changer. This wonderful woman that I am blessed to call friend brought me the book to look over to see if I was interested in leading a book study on it. I read through the book carefully, highlighting key phrases, and pouring myself out over each page while taking in every word of wisdom that Shauna Neiquiest had to tell me. (Till this day I’m positive she wrote the book just for me). It’s incredible how the Lord knows exactly what you need at the precise moment you need to take action. 

The accumulation of achieving stars that I had received since age 0, was no longer shiny. They lost their luster and started to weigh me down. I was smothered in stars that made life feel like heavy strides instead of the delightful dance it had once been.

The book talks about choosing your YES, and even says that the Yeses we take on are a choice. What? A choice? That weighed so heavy on my mind that I was choosing this fast-paced life when I craved rest. My body ached from the constant stretching and bending I had done for everyone over the years. I wanted to shake off all of the stars and be home with my children.

My YES was to everything else but them because they always had tomorrow. Then I read the book and started to think about the committees I joined and began writing resignation letters. By the end of the first week, I had written and delivered three resignation letters. By the second week, I added four more to that count, and by the last day of 2018, I had resigned from over seventeen organizations. They were all for worthy causes that helped the community, the homeless, and even my children’s school. But none of them were helping me during this time in my life.

My 2018 was all about intentional living. I started choosing joy. I turned down speaking events and agreed to do others. With each opportunity, I asked myself what would I be giving up so that I could prepare, attend, and complete this event or task. If it was too much time, I declined.

What else could I say No to? My mind was all about choosing my YES and saying NO. With that said; I have to tell you that I enjoy shopping. I also love to give. It brings me joy to be able to provide gifts to people I care about. Now for those of you reading this and are thinking that you haven’t gotten anything, hear me out.

My home was overflowing with sale items or things I could gift at a later time. In 2018, I can proudly say that my shopping came to a screeching halt. I was no longer buying just for the sake of having.

If I wanted something, I held it in my hand and asked myself if I already had a place to put it. If I didn’t, I put it down and returned after I made the space. If I did, the follow-up question was am I willing to do the upkeep for this product. This includes anything that the hot little item in my hand needed like dusting, watering, polishing, etc. If I wasn’t willing then back it went. I applied this method to EVERYTHING I wanted to purchase. My wallet, my cluttered home, and my soul loved this.

I began choosing whether what I was saying YES to was allowed in my home. Although I haven’t made any new purchases, I am still struggling with letting go of what is already in my home, but I’m still a work in progress.

And for those who are still asking about my gift-giving? Know that I am choosing to live life with you, which I learned that my time is much more important than material items. If you have received a gift from me, it probably came in the form a coffee, a treat or lunch at an unexpected time. And if you received an actual present, know that I bought it especially for you, not because it was on sale, or because I had it in my “just in case” closet, but I actually took the time and went shopping with you in mind and chose the gift for you and you alone. Thank you for being my friend, though.

I encourage you to choose your YES. Say YES to what gives you life and brings you joy. Say YES to family time. Say YES to volunteering, but decide which organization you will allow your time to be allocated to. If you’re anything like me and have a heart for so many interests, then dedicate a specific season with a start and end date for each organization, and serve on only one or two at a time.

Say YES to having more time while living a life filled with a joyful kind of love surrounded by the YES you choose.